I am not a therapist or psychologist. The following are just my opinions - but it is my website after all.

I don't think there are typically "Good" or "Bad" children. I think children, at least in the early years, are primarily a reflection of their parental interactions. Parents of misbehaving children always seem surprised when their child throws a fit, or does something socially unacceptable. This, and an optimistic attitude, makes me think that the parents believe they are doing the right thing as parents, and that it simply isn't working. To some degree this must be true. So what's wrong? Obviously there isn't one way to correctly parent a child. Likewise, there are a multitude of ways to incorrectly parent a child.

So, are there any common denominators to good parenting? Perhaps one thing that seems fairly common among well behaved children is that they spend quality time with their parent or guardian. An approving, soft toned conversation is perhaps one of the most civilized efforts a young child could experience. Even if the words are being read from a book, the soft tones of the parent's or guardian's voice serve well in creating a peaceful atmosphere between the parent and child. In addition to creating a good atmosphere for the moment, the time spent with a "Well Behaved" parent serves as a guideline or example of how correct behavior is supposed to look.

Why "quiet time"? Two main reasons;

1. Just as screaming creates friction between two people, speaking quietly and politely can remove friction
2. Seeing or hearing a grown up speaking quietly gets a child used to the softness, or sensitive nature that is sometimes necessary in various situations

This is not to say there is never a time to speak firmly and/or loudly. To the contrary - When a child is aware and comfortable with the soft speaking voice, a raised voice has some multiple of the impact it would have if all the child ever heard was loud voices from the parent. So speaking softly can increase the effect of a raised voice when that is what is necassary.

If you are wondering why I chose these character traits, I'll be happy to tell you. There was a point in my son's youth when he became extremely interested in King Arthur and knights in general. While reading some of the books on knights with him I saw the knights "Code of Chivalry". They include;

• Honesty
• Helping others
• Bravery
• Tolerate discomfort
• Be loyal to your friends and obey your leaders
• Don't Boast or Brag

So, I used one for each finger, and the last one is represented by the hand acting together as a team, where no one finger gets all the recognition. It seemed to fit unusually well.

While my children were growing up, I had a few rituals that I used to do with them that seemed to really keep them happy, and me happy too. One was to carry them upstairs to bed. Firemans carry, on the shoulders, craddled, it didn't matter. It was also typical to partake in some sillyness. When on the shoulders, I would call the child's name out and pretend I couldn't find them...ending the search in their room as I laid them gently on the bed and was shocked to have found them right there where they should have been all along! Also popular was a march upstairs, and other odd things which changed as they got older. I now miss those days a great deal. Sometimes I would play guitar and sing some songs - I even recorded some of the songs when I would travel on business trips so they could still hear me sing, typically right after I called in to say goodnight. But one of the most significant rituals was The Magic Fingers.

With all of the violence and disrespect that is currently seen in the world, I thought it would be nice to try to contribute, in some small way, to fixing the problem by offering a simple way for parents to work with thier children to become more peacful and civilized adults. I don't know if this book, my little offering, will help much. But if it helps one family, or one child, it was well worth the efforts put forth to create it.

It's a book - Just Read it... I'm kidding. There are some specific things that were intended when this book was created. The book was specifically subtitled "A family read-together book". This is because the book is likely more effective if a parent reads the pages to the child from a young age, and perhaps continues to read it until the child would rather read it themselves.

If I had my preference - the book would go through a number of phases at different ages for different children.

• Phase I - Parent quietly reading the book to the child - just for the sound and time together. I found that by holding the childs hand and more specifically whichever finger I was currently reading about, my child relaxed and went to sleep fairly quickly. There were times when my children would say "Dad, I can't sleep, could you do the Magic Fingers thing" and I would read the words and hold their hand until they went to sleep.
• Phase II - Child starts to use coloring pages from this site which can help them to generate complex thoughts about what each character trait means.
• Phase III - Parent quietly reading the book while the child reads along. This can additionally help the child recognize words once they are ready to start reading.
• Phase IV - Child begins to use word searches provided on this site.
• Phase V - Child begins to read the book themselves while the parent sits with them. This is the best time to field questions about the concepts raised in the book. Like "why should I help those in need?" or what does "Show Tolerance" mean? This is the best time for a parent to solidify the character traits addressed into the book. This is also a great time to listen to the child's view of what each page means.
• Phase VI - The most advanced activities are the Crossword puzzles. These are best either for the child as they are just about too old for this sort of book - or for the parents, just for fun.

It isn't necessarily that important as to which version you use - Printed or digital book, but rather that it is you reading it in the beginning. Over time you can intersperse the digital video, others reading it and eventually the child reading it themselves. If you don't like this book, it will hurt my feelings, but please find a book that you and your child DO like and read together. Both of my children now read at a rate significantly faster than I, and do extremely well in school. The Magic Fingers book was not available for them, but there were many other books that drew them into reading. I really hope The Magic Fingers book is a part of your parental repetoire and I thank you for considering it.

I think you can start reading to a child from moments after birth - and I recommend it. However, I think a child at age 2 is more open and responsive for such reading. I stopped reciting this information to the children at ages 6 and 7 respectively for my son and daughter. But, even to this day I occassionally get asked to do the Magic Fingers to help them sleep if they are having difficulty. So - 2 years old to 8 years old.